I hadn't been on a thrill ride in years, but I took a notion to go to Six Flags, and went with some friends yesterday. And I rode roller coasters: lots of them, intense ones, repeatedly. And today I am down. Not depressed, not unproductive, but attitudinally down. It isn't even an emotion - it is a feeling, in the thinner sense of the word. I suppose this is a hormonal or neural reaction of some kind.
I push myself to include my body in my notion of who I really am, because that doesn't come easily and I think it is just. But on days like today, where there is such an obvious, nonrational physicality to how my body is, and how it is not like me and what I am doing, the push is useless and I can only think of my body as it, not me.
I'll go back to owning my own skin tomorrow, I suppose.
