as if Bea Arthur were your spokesperson

A distinct New York City voice is found in advertising and commercial tag lines that lay flat and heavy as the thick steel plates that cover street excavation.  Ess-A-Bagel: "EVERYTHING ON A BAGEL."  A local home furnishing chain called BETTER YOUR HOME.  Papaya King: OUR FRANKFURTERS ARE TASTIER THAN FILET MIGNON.  Fairway Market: LIKE NO OTHER MARKET.  The flat absence of lilt; the nearness to threat: the heavy charm of words meant to be read not heard in the mind.