We all have to struggle with a social perversion of the golden rule. It is not enough for society that we treat others as we would be treated: society would have us want to be treated as others would want to be treated. Resist.
I do not mean to concede to the golden rule. It is a crude awl, meant to punch some approximation of decency into hardened hearts.
For a decent, loving soul, the golden rule is too crude. To the good, I say this: Fear not to do unto others as must be done; and when nothing is necessary, do then unto others as ought to be done; and then, when - as is usual - there are many right options, do unto others as they would have you do unto them, not as you would have done unto you.
For we are not alike, one to another, in what we want, even when we are alike in necessities and rights.
And in doing unto others as they would have it, fear not to be yourself: serve, but as an equal serves and not as a servant.
In short, when you can, give others what they want, but do it in your style. Seek to live, insofar as possible, in a fertile succession of dancing pairs: be not a loner, or a crowdsman, or a cog. Only and exactly two humans may look one another in the eyes. Serve in this heart and in this style: it is communion.
